Last Updated on April 20, 2020

Everybody strives to gain traffic for their sites, the faster, the better, if possible overnight. Every beginner blogger dreams of the day when his blog will reach a million users per month or per day or per minute or per second or per split second or… You know already the recipe for success, as there are millions of sites giving you the same advice and mentioning patience and perseverence above all. But did it ever occur to you to think how to proceed to lose traffic? If there was a contest of the fastest traffic loser of all with a very high prize for the winner?

A ten steps scenario would look like this:

  1. delete all META tags from your pages
  2. take out the keywords from titles and headlines
  3. make sure your site loads in more than 60 seconds: use high quality pictures, with size over 1Mb
  4. make sure your links lead nowhere, or to sites that are no longer active, or to sites not related to the subject
  5. if somebody dares to leave a comment on your site, answer him that he should go study some more, then open his mouth to speak.
  6. organize weekly contests, let people in, then announce in the last day that you changed your mind and the contest is off
  7. stuff your articles with lots of grammar mistakes
  8. make ads fly all over the screen and let no possibility of making them disappear
  9. make your pages jump automatically from one to another at intervals of 5 seconds
  10. make all your pages black and forget all 9 steps above

Any more ideas?