Last Updated on April 20, 2020

Santa ClausBelieve it or not, I’m afraid of Christmas. Not that I don’t like to make presents: actually I adore it, I’m trying to fit every single gift I buy with the personality and needs of the person who is going to receive it. Yet, I’m scared that I could ruin years of friendship only because of my deep understanding of my friends’ needs and because my presents are always a solution to one of their most embarrassing problems, which they aren’t happy to discover under their pencil trees for Christmas.

Let’s take one small example:

My friend Anna is sweet and a great friend, however she’s a little bit chubby, so I thought to get her a bottle of the famous Amazon Diet. It is true that this is a very good value for money for myself, as I have to pay only 7.74$ for shipping and handling (actually, the promotion is for US citizens only, so I asked my US resident cousin to order the free bottle for me). Do you think she’s going to be offended by my gift? I hope not. After all, she doesn’t have a cousin in the US, so she’d never have the chance to try this diet for this price (I mean for nothing, as she’s going to get it under the Christmas tree). Or maybe it would be better to get her also the 2-Day Slimdown free trial bottle (and pay some $7 for the shipping)?

Or let’s take my brother:

He’s always very low on energy, always suffering from something, always complaining about the pollution we are living in. He surely could use the Dual-Action Cleanse system to rid his body of built-up waste and toxins, but how can I give him this without risking to offend him? It is true that it tempts me very much, because I found this real bargain: I can save up to $70 if I take advantage of their Christmas promotion.

I don’t even want to think of my friend Dan, who’s spending all day long dreaming of how he will make $1.000.000 on the internet, but he never starts anything. I think he will get old and die before making his first $100 online. Believe me, I’m very tempted to buy him this Home Business Opportunity certified by the Better Business Bureau OnLine Reliability Program. This Work At Home Kit includes set up with personal one-on-one business coach and mentor, and all I’d have to pay would be the $9 for handling & shipping.

My grandma hates wrinkles. You can imagine she hates her whole face, and hands, and legs, and everything, as she’s all wrinkles. Do you think she’d be offended if I offered her the 20 Minute Facelift Cream? She’d better not, because this is my best deal ever: all I’ll have to pay is $2.75 for handling & shipping. The cream is free ๐Ÿ˜†

My grandpa adores cooking. Too bad he’s almost blind, so you can never be sure what he chops in those dishes he prepares. He would have loved this Miracle Blade III set of knives, but I’m really afraid he’d chop his fingers and serve them in the stu, so I’ve chosen something a bit safer: the Aerogarden, a kind of electric pot for growing your own herbs directly in your kitchen, without dirt and all that mess. It comes with a seeds set included, and it is harmless. The worst thing that may happen would be that grandpa would put dill in the soup and parsley in the apple pie, but at least he won’t get hurt. Of course, grandma will be very upset with me for giving grandpa this device, as she tries hard to make him give up cooking, due to his poor sight (I suppose she’s throwing to the dogs most of the foods he cooks, but this is another story).

Now you see why I hate Christmas? Maybe I’m too involved. Maybe I should do like everybody else, and get each member of my family a personalized gift and my friends some harmless cosmetics kits, and call it a day. Do you know what I mean? But where would it be the Christmas spirit then?