Last Updated on April 20, 2020
Congratulations, you’ve just made it to the front page of Digg. And your site couldn’t handle the load and had to be put under for a few hours. Here are nine ways to make sure you never experience the dreaded Digg Effect ever again.
1. Take that Stupid Digg Button Off Your Site
Are you actually asking to get Dugg? The best way to survive the Digg Effect is to never experience it in the first place. Take that stupid button off or else people might actually digg your post.
2. Give the Digg Button A New Destination
If you like the Digg button so much (the colors match your blog so well!), leave it there, but make sure to link it to Slashdot submission form. Eventual diggers will have a cool surprise.
3. Chastise Everyone Who Submits Your Site to Digg
It’s a conspiracy! Everyone who diggs your site is trying to take it down. Find out who dugg your post and send them a tersely worded message (with at least five expletives) to not ever digg a post on your site ever again.
If they continue to digg, threaten their cats.
4. Bury Your Own Posts
In the event that someone decided to digg your post, you can work against the system. Bury your own post. And get your friends to bury it. It’s the least they could do, right?
5. Write at Least One Anti-Digg Reference Per Post
Sprinkle a few anti-Digg messages in your post. Commonly used phrases could be:
- Digg sucks.
- Slashdot is better.
- Digg users are mean.
- Slashdot is way better.
- Digg users are immature.
- Slashdot is the supreme being. Digg is its bitch.
6. Don’t Write Anything Remotely Useful
As stated earlier, the best way to survive a digg effect is to not get dugg in the first place. So why continue writing rubbish that people think is digg worthy? If you write about stuff nobody cares about, you will never have a problem. So please, stop writing about stuff people care about and start writing about useless stuff, like saving the environment.
7. Make at Least One Pro-Bush Statement
Make a claim of support for the United States President George W. Bush. Make sure to also make at least one anti-liberal statement as well. And also add in there that the United States is awesome.
8. Block All Digg Referrers
One of the best ways to survive a digg effect is to block digg traffic. Simply modify your htaccess to block a referrer and just add Digg to the mix. It works every time.
9. Get Banned by Digg
And by far the best way to digg-proof your blog is to get banned by Digg. The easiest way is to sign up for multiple accounts under the same IP and digg your post ad infinitum. You’ll eventually get caught, so go for it with style. And once you get that magic “you’ve been banned” e-mail, you can be satisfied that your blog is 100% digg proof.
If you follow these nine tips, I can guarantee that your blog will be 100% digg proof. So why not give them a try today?